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THE BLOG HAS MOVED

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THE COLD WEATHER HAS MADE US WARMER

Read @http://i3advantage.com/blog/2014/02/27/the-cold-weather-has-made-us-warmer/

PEDESTRIANS OF THE WORLD UNITE

hello, my blog has moved. please go to i3advantage.com/blog and you can subscribe to all my updates. The link to todays blog is at http://i3advantage.com/blog/2014/02/19/pedestrians-of-the-world-unite/
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ABOUT LABELS AND HIRING PRACTICES THAT DISCRIMINATE

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EVERYDAY COULD BE A SPECIAL DAY

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EVERYDAY COULD BE A SPECIAL DAY

ARE YOU A SCURVY ELEPHANT?

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PERFUMITY: THE LIFECYCLE OF A RELATIONSHIP

As we move into Valentine's Week (it really is no longer just a day, it's become like Christmas, a bit of a marathon) I thought for a bit of fun and change of pace, I'd tell a tale of a relationship based on the names of perfumes. 

This started sometime back when I was on a cruise and in one of the ports they had a huge store that was only dedicated to perfume.  As a friend and I walked through the aisles and aisles of offerings, it became obvious to me that there was a scent for every stage of a relationship.  And yes, I walked around with a pen and paper writing all these names down. So enjoy this story, about the beginning, middle and end of a relationship as told by perfume!

PERFUMITY

Early in the relationship, there is Romance, while your partner thinks you are Very Irresistible. There is quite a bit of Allure, and most assuredly this connection was made by Chance. And at this early stage there is a certain amount of Obsession that occurs, most often of the physical kind.

As we move into the mid-stages we find ourselves  In Love and our paramour sees you as a Goddess. You begin to Play Intense, as your lover is moving further into Obsession, astounded by your Womanity.

 

As the relationship progresses the Diamonds are showered upon you, as your lover turns to fiancé and he says Marry Me. With nary a thought you say yes and think that you will live Happily Ever After, in complete Bliss.

Then you hear  Rumours that your now husband may be a bit of an Angel/Demon and it becomes an Obsession to find him Guilty.

As he is presented with the evidence he demonstrates a characteristic Insolence, yet you realize that it is a Miracle that you discovered his failings, because you are now free to pursue Sexy Men.

 Yes, one can find lots of truth in those bottles! Of course there would probably be an unexplainable cosmic event if you wore them all together at one time!

Enjoy Valentine's Week, and think about the message you are sending based on the scent you chose to give your paramour! :)

WHAT ABOUT THE INTERVIEWER?

Almost every day, some pundit or other, is pontificating on how candidates should conduct themselves during an interview -- what they should say, how they should speak, what they should wear etc. But rarely if ever is there a focus on the interviewer -- the employer or executive search that is representing the employer and how they should behave.

I find this lack of focus on the interviewer interesting because isn't the hiring company trying to "sell" their company to the best candidate? The interviewer(s) might get away with slovenly, or bizarre behaviour and questioning with the less desirable candidates, but not with those whom they truly wish to attract. An interview in fact is a negotiation, between two parties who wish to engage in a business arrangement. As in any negotiation, both parties need to understand the offer and the offerings and put their best foot forward to ensure a desirable outcome.

Some things which I think are inexcusable from an interviewer perspective are:

• Lateness -- I'm sorry, a couple of minutes maybe, but leaving a candidate cooling their heels for 15 to 20 minutes (and yes I've witnessed this and had reports of this from some of my colleagues) is inexcusable. What you are saying to the candidate is that you will always be disrespectful of someone else's time. And guess what -- if this is the way before you get hired, it will be even worse once you are employed.
• Lack of Preparation -- Know who you are interviewing. Don't fumble around looking for the candidate's resume or  begin reading it for the first time when the person is sitting in front of you. Also as part of this, don't have other people's resumes lying in full view of the interviewee. Again this behaviour is not respectful and any good potential hire will walk away.
• Checking emails, pings or taking a call -- I've witnessed all of these and have had many more reported to me. Really? Again, are you just showing the potential candidate how important you are or how insignificant they are? 
• Follow up -- This is post interview, but if an individual has taken time from their day and made an effort to come and see you, then advising them as to the status of the process is important. If they haven't made the grade, let them know and the sooner the better. And if you are considering them, well you better let them know that too, otherwise they might end up finding a more communicative potential employer. Be considerate and show some respect again for the effort someone has made.

This goes equally for the search firm or the employer, because the former is representing the latter, so in effect, your reputation as a company rests on how the search firm is representing you.

Here are a few real life examples from my past. 

• I once was interviewed by a VP of HR, who spent his entire time asking me questions with his chair swivelled away from me looking out the window. I didn't know what to make of it. I don't know what interviewing strategy he was employing but it served to tick me off.
• I had a similar incident with a C-Level interviewer, where he sat staring right past me during the interview. In this case though I wasn't asked any questions. He just spent the entire hour of the interview talking about himself!
• I have had two situations, one from executive search and another from the President of a company, which offended my female sensibilities. The former asked me how did I think I could have a demanding job when I had a child and the latter asked me "What I thought about women in business?" If you are thinking this must have been eons ago, not so much. We are talking mid-90's. Oh, you are probably wondering how I answered these questions.I asked the former how often he asked this question of men, and the latter? "Well, I said, there are obviously not enough of us in your business." These answers caused both of them to go quiet.
• I was being interviewed by one of the top recruitment firms for a role. At the end of the interview, the recruiter indicated that I was an excellent candidate for the position. And then he asked if I would sponsor him on a charity run he was doing in the week ahead. I was a little stunned at the request so I asked "Are you indicating that if I sponsor you I get the job and vice-versa?" I said it with a smile on my face, but the implication was there. "No, no, I was just kidding" and that was the end of it.
• A C-Level executive interviewed me and looked like he had just rolled out of bed 5 minutes ago. Unshaven and slovenly. Of course I was dressed to the proverbial 'nines' so the disparity was apparent to anyone observing. He looked like he had just gotten out of jail and that perhaps I was his lawyer. 

My message here is let's not just focus on the interviewee but also on the interviewer. If you are a candidate for a role, you shouldn't expect to be disrespected. If you are during an interview, run, because it will only get worse when you are hired. I wished in a couple of instances that I had done that, because the environment within the company was well represented during the interview process!

PS: You may have noted that I have only mentioned men as the interviewers. That is because this is where my questionable experiences have occurred. I have been interviewed by some women, and for me the experiences were great, but I'm sure there are some stories that people have about women as well, but I don't

LIFE LESSONS FROM A LAPTOP THAT CRASHED

When you linger over a decision, hoping that the inevitable will somehow go away, the only person you are fooling is yourself.

I realized that when my seven-year-old Mac laptop died an ignominious death last week. It had become cranky over the last few months, crashing intermittently, programs being non-responsive, taking forever to do the simplest tasks, and don't even get me started on the download speed.

About a year ago I had to install new RAM, which brought me to 4 GB, and that helped a little, but not much. I kept nursing my system along, not wanting to spend the money for a new one, but also getting into the mindset that it was good enough and that I could manage.  I might not be a power user or gamer, but with the changes in technology and our use of it over the last seven years (think youTube, streaming, etc), you don't have to be to have issues with an old computer. 

Finally last week, I realized I couldn't ignore my systems shortcomings. It crashed several times, refused to cooperate a few more, so I went and bought a new one. I brought my external hard-drive backup, which had seemed to be merrily backing up every hour and handed it over to the techies at the store to transfer my files. Alas, that is when I found out that my computer had left me -- perhaps not physically but virtually (or if you want to make a human comparator let's call it emotionally). There had been no backup for 3 months. 

I won't get into all the details, but my hard drive was corrupted and thankfully, with all the brainpower of the techies at Apple, they were finally able to transfer my files after 4 days.

This computer episode made me think about how so many decisions in life we hold off on making because we figure that we can make it work for a little longer, and/or maybe if we ignore it that it will get better.  I see people (including me) doing this time and time again, holding off on dealing with a fractured marriage/relationship, an intolerable job, a client or supplier relationship, or the myriad of other things that can challenge us.

Yes, you can nurse it for a while, "upgrade the RAM," ignore the frustration that is wrought, and just figure well, this is good enough. We believe that if we wait long enough things will get better, but the converse is often the reality.

And then what happens? Well, we may still be physically present in the relationship, but emotionally we've mostly checked out. There is the old adage that the person has one foot out the door. And if you have one foot out the door, what's keeping your other foot from following?

Pretending that things will get better is nothing more than sticking your head in the sand and assuming that the "threat" will be gone or the situation will have changed  once you resurface, but it always comes back. And by the time you realize this, you may find that some amazing opportunities which had presented themselves are gone.

My computer knew before me that it was time for it to go to that electronic happy place in the Cloud (sorry I couldn't resist :)). It decided that three months ago, but I lingered. And that lack of action almost caused me a bit of a catastrophe -- a significant amount of lost data.

I intend to take the lessons that my sage, tribal elder of a computer taught me and reflect on other areas of my life where I may have lingered too long. Perhaps you should as well!

NO MAGIC WAND FOR SELF-IMPROVEMENT

Today the fitness centres will be full, the diets are beginning, people resolve to quit smoking, drinking etc., or determine to improve themselves in a myriad of different ways.

Those of us who workout regularly despise the months of January and February, when the flock of newbies hoard the machines, and who also are doing the exercises wrong. "Tut, tut" we say, and we wait. Because within a couple of months, if not earlier, most of these efforts will be abandoned. 

Not only in the gyms, but the diets, the quit whatever, the "I'll be a better person by……" It is the annual desire to improve in some way, but alas, because people can't see an improvement in a day, or week, or just incremental improvements after a month, or they "cheat" by having "just one smoke or drink: and then they go "what's the point", abandon their efforts and end up next year with the same resolution and intent to do better.

Why do people end up on this hamster wheel of disappointment? Because everyone is looking for a fairy godmother to wield a magic wand, wave it and remove whatever offends one. Unfortunately, fairy godmothers are illusionary, and the reality is making any positive change in your life takes effort and sacrifice. (And remember even the fairy godmother couldn't maintain Cinderella's makeover past midnight). 

The fitness clubs, the diet gurus, the smoke cessation product companies all promise (unless you read the fine-print with the disclaimers) a better you, if you buy into their marketing. And they usually have a "in four weeks" you can lose x amount of pounds, or feel 10 years younger. Wow, who wouldn't want that? I mean, four weeks? I can do anything for four weeks! 

The unfortunate thing is that after working out several times a week or going on a crash diet, people revert to their old ways. "I got too busy," "I'm just taking a short-break," "I'm going on vacation." Excuses, wrapped up in pretty words. Because once you revert to the way you have been living for years, well, let's face it, you haven't incorporated the new way.

If you are really serious about positive change, accept the incremental improvements. Don't say "gee, I lost five pounds, so now I can celebrate with a slab of chocolate cake." Keep at it. Focus. Chose one area where you commit -- that is don't say I'm going to diet, start a fitness program and etc. Just one. And stick to it.

Don't expect to see an immediate improvement. It's taken you years to get this way and it is going to take you a while to change. Don't go for the crash diets, because beyond this not being healthy, your body goes into starvation mode and once you stop, you'll gain more weight back. Don't say I'm going to go to the gym 5 days a week, start with one, or two and then move up from there. Otherwise you will disappoint yourself and then say 'what's the point.'

There was a quote from author Carl Bard I came across the other day that truly resonated with me about changing one's life. 

"Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending."

So whatever you are considering for 2014 keep this quote in mind. And then be able to reflect on New Year's Eve 2014, how you've created a great new ending for your life!

TIS' THE SEASON: A FEW POINTERS TO ENSURE IT IS AMAZING!

Tis' the holiday season, where it all should be about joy and happiness. To ensure that you have an amazing holiday and set yourself up for success in 2014, here are a few pointers.

• indulge but don't overindulge..the former leads to enjoyment, the latter will only fill you with regret

• lead with kindness and kindness will find its way back to you

• give more than you receive and you'll be amazed at how good that feels

• you have a choice to be positive regardless of anyone else's drama. You can escalate or curtail any situation from getting out of hand.

• laugh a lot, and then laugh again, at yourself and with others -- never at others.

• smile inside, and outside. It will make you, and others feel wonderful.

• even if you get a gift that you don't need/want, be grateful. You still have more than most of the world's population

• be patient, and kind to strangers or personnel in a mall, a store, a restaurant. They are trying to do their best on very busy days, so try to make their day a little easier. 

• enjoy the company of friends and family, even if it gets a little overwhelming at times. 

As Bob Marley said Don't worry, Be happy. Enjoy the moment, and create memories to last a lifetime.

Best wishes to all for the holidays and I wish you a most amazing 2014. And thank you for reading my blog as I know that there are many competing priorities for you during each and every day. I truly appreciate you listening to me. See you in 2014. 

Cheers

Patricia

THE POWER OF THE RESIDUAL SMILE

Have you ever found yourself smiling when a memory surfaces about something that happened perhaps a day, a month or a year ago? Usually it is because someone made you feel special, did something extraordinary or perhaps a get together which was filled with joy and laughter.

When we have such memories, you can't help but feel happy. And when you feel happy, the "happy hormones" kick in -- serotonin, endorphins, dopamine, phenylethamine -- resulting in us feeling good, and actually becoming healthier.

Luckily, I have many times to which I can think back to that make me smile, and yes it does feel good!

Life is about creating memories or should I say good memories. 

I am not big into new year's resolutions, but perhaps you can consider making a pact with yourself today to make a life resolution, which is I will do things which I know will result in others smiling today, but also having residual smiles when they think about what happened for some time to come.

When you create residual smiles in others, you will create them for yourself as well. Happiness is, as happiness does.

A RANT -- COMPLACENCY AND IGNORANCE AT SENIOR LEVELS REGARDING WOMEN

This is a rant. This rant is courtesy of a recent survey of Canadian executives wherein the results indicate that most are not concerned about the number of women in executive ranks or on their board. This after study, upon study, that shows companies that have women on boards and with greater representation in the executive level, show better financial results. So how is it that still there is this outdated, neanderthal thinking that "hey, we're good. Leave good enough alone."

One of the executives in the article (a female unfortunately) states:

“I do think that it makes sense to have diversity on a board, and it would be great to have a woman on our board, but it comes down to whether there would be someone who would be suitable to join.”

Argghhh! Really? I'm sorry, but if you don't think that there are highly qualified women who can bring a lot of insight and experience to your company than you haven't been looking very hard. This is the same excuse that has been used to exclude women and others from the boardrooms and C-suite for decades. "We just want to have the best candidate, what's wrong with that." 

Well guess what? There is nothing wrong with that. The reality is that the best candidate would often be a woman, but you haven't made the effort to find her. You have done the normal search or maybe gotten one of your golf buddies, someone that mirrors who you are and how you think to participate in your company. 

Some people use the example of the new CEO of GM or the CEO of Pepsi-Co and a couple of others to say "See, a woman was the best candidate and therefore she got the job." My rejoinder to that would be there were probably a number of qualified woman for those and many of the CEO jobs across the world, prior to these amazing and qualified woman breaking through.

I wrote about philharmonic orchestras in a previous blog (Blind Auditions) wherein the exact same argument was used by symphonies to explain why there weren't more (or any) women in their orchestra. "Gee, if only women were as good as men musicians, we certainly would have some," was the refrain. However, not surprisingly, when blind auditions were instituted, wherein the "hirer" could only hear the music and not see the player, the number of women suddenly increased. Do you think that was just because magically women all of a sudden got their game-on and were better musicians? No, it was because systematic discrimination was built into the process.

When I was working at a company where we needed a new supervisor in one of our major distribution centres, my team presented me with a shortlist of guys for the role. I indicated that I would not sign-off on any hire, unless there was a woman in the mix. They didn't have to hire the woman, but they had to have one who would be considered as a candidate. After two weeks they came back and said they hadn't been able to find one. My response of "So sad, too bad" and that the role would remain vacant until they were able to consider a qualified female applicant. Another couple of weeks went by, they found a woman for the role, whom they interviewed. I did not interview any of the candidates, I left it up them to hire the best candidate. 

Well, they ended up hiring the woman for this supervisory role. And guess what? In six months, my team indicated that she was the best supervisor in this distribution centre, and on top of that, she changed the dynamic amongst the entire team, and it was better for it. Had I let them just hire those who were "easily" found, we would of ended up with the same-old, same-old. Instead we ended up with the best. Unfortunately the only reason she ended up being hired, was because I was in a position to make them look for a woman. Not hire, but look.

I do not advocate quotas because that usually sends the wrong message. But I strongly suggest that anyone who is hiring for anything, whether a supervisor in a male-dominated industry or function, for any role, but particularly for a  senior leadership role or for the board, that there is, at minimum, one woman put into the mix for consideration. Perhaps even just have "blind auditions" as suggested in my previous blog. I guarantee you that very quickly women would start populating the corporate landscape in all sorts of roles, because the best candidate for the job would be hired and she would be great!

(note: you can also read "You've come a long way baby, or have we really?" for an additional perspective)

RETAIL DISCOUNTS ARE DISTORTING THE REALITY

I went out Christmas shopping today. In the mall, every -- and I mean every -- store has signs 40%, 50%, 60% off. Wow, what deals! Or are they really?

Let's face it. Retailers are making healthy profits. They are not in the business of saving us money. They are in the business of taking money from us for their advantage. So, why are they giving us such "great deals?"

When I was younger, I worked part-time in a store. Nothing was discounted prior to Christmas. Well maybe a few items on Christmas Eve day to entice those last minute shoppers (which were often desperate husbands, to whom we could pretty much sell anything. We actually had some sport with that, trying to figure out what the wife's expression would be Christmas morning when she opened up the big package, only to find a ratchet set and drill -- yes we convinced men that the wife would love it! :)

Now, everybody goes shopping with the expectation of deep, deep discounts, all the time. Have we been such intelligent consumers that the retail industry just buckled under the pressure? Not so much.

Yes, there is increased competition. No question about that. But I actually believe that the answer lies elsewhere. The "original" retail prices have been severely inflated, and the "real" cost has come down significantly with all the off-shore manufacturing that is taking place.

The retailers are still making a bundle, and consumers are paying higher prices, that have the illusion of being discounted. We are probably paying more, not less, than in the proverbial "good-old days."

This attitude morphs into the business world as well. The old style of negotiation was the seller would go high, the buyer would go low, and inevitably they would meet in the middle -- an arduous, adversarial process but everyone usually got what they expected. Then buyers (not all but many) were hit with an epiphany of realization that this was just some silly game and that it was better to be more upfront, partner oriented and negotiate openly and transparently. This is how I always liked to negotiate -- I wasn't into the gamesmanship nor in making a supplier bleed for my benefit, because inevitably they are there to support the business and we need their support.

Unfortunately I see the tide reverting. Buyers are looking at sellers and stomping their feet and saying we need more from you. They don't differentiate between products or services. Everything is painted with the same brush. Buyers will often get some short term gain, but their business will inevitably suffer with this approach -- because there are so many value-add things that sellers offer, which will make your business better.  But not if you put them in a choke-hold. I will tell you that I have predicted the comeuppance of some companies that I have dealt with in the past who thought it was appropriate to hit suppliers over the head with a 2x4. Karma is a bitch!

But why are we reverting. Today, in the mall, I felt I had the "AHA" moment. Buyers don't trust sellers anymore, because everywhere they turn outside of their work life, everyone is offering huge discounts. Which means, ergo, that at every other time of the year, when you shop and you pay retail price, you are obviously being ripped off. So buyers in corporations are probably figuring that their suppliers are holding back some secret stash and that they are not being honest with them when they say that this is the best they can do -- and still be viable.

I know a lot of these companies who are trying to do right by their clients. They are going into sell the cost savings  which is being pushed on them from on-high because, well their leaders go to the malls too!

best possible product/service, at a total cost which ensures that the client gets what they need, plus the service that goes along with it. These sellers though are in a conundrum because it is unclear to them how they can appease the sometimes ludicrous asks of the buyers. And the buyers are making ludicrous asks, because their metrics are stilted towards the demon

I know it is not this simplistic, but we do live in a discount society. I fear however that we are going to go back in time when we stop being honest with our partners and begin the silliness of "you offer the high price, and I'll give you the low. And we all know it's a game but hey, if I can tell my boss that I got a severely discounted price, I'll get accolades and a bonus!"

As Kurt Vonnegut wrote in Slaughterhouse-5…and so it goes!