What is it about some people (many people), from every walk of life, that makes them want to portray themselves as "victims of circumstance"? It doesn't matter what role they play -- could be politician, colleague, friend, family member, etc. they keep on making excuses, trying to rationalize their choices and trying to make it look like they didn't have a choice at all?
Let's first differentiate between reasons and excuses.
Reasons are rational explanations given for thinking in a particular way or for doing a particular activity. They are basically logical justifications in accordance with some motive.
Excuses excuses are an attempt to convince oneself or others about the difficulties involved when a promise is not kept or there is lack of progress, or simply, when something is not done.
Or as it's been said "An excuse is a skin of a reason stuffed with a lie"
It's Ok to outline reasons -- reasons mean you are taking responsibility, but excuses usually start with something like "I'm sorry, but....(fill in the blank)"
Everyday we make hundreds of choices. Your day starts with a choice as to when you wake up.
If you are late to a meeting saying "Sorry, I got hung up on a call", or "My last meeting went late", well that isn't good enough. You made a conscious choice not to advise those on that call or those at this last meeting that you had another commitment you needed to attend to. Own it, don't excuse it. With you coming late to the meeting you are disrespecting your colleagues and their time commitments (and I've usually found that these latecomers start with something like "What did I miss?" Arrrghhhh) And shame on you if you are the boss. What you are saying is that your staff's time isn't as important as yours and guess what it is!
Or what about the people, who all of a sudden find themselves tossed out of a job, haven't bothered to keep up their network and reach out only because they need something? (LinkedIn makes this really prevalent these days) Bad idea! Usually you hear the excuse of "Yeah, I know I should have connected with you three years ago, but life ran away, and I got so busy, so sorry about that. So can you help me out now?"
OK, so let me get this. Because you were busy for a few years, and now you need something and aren't "busy" anymore, I should drop everything and help you to achieve whatever you need because I of course don't have a life and should be available for you now? And then you can ignore me again for whatever length of time after you get back on track?
My response to this? Karma is a bitch.
I hear a lot of people complain about their jobs....a lot! So why do they stay in the jobs? Why don't they take action to start the process of looking elsewhere? "I just don't have the time because they are working me so hard", or "Well, not right now, maybe it will get better." And if it doesn't? Blah, blah, blah.
You can choose to be a victim or a victor. I don't like victims. I don't like whining. I like action. If you don't like your life, whatever it is, then change it. Start looking for another job, another home, another (fill in the blank). "Proactiveness" is highly underrated in out society. Too many people sit back and wait for things to happen to them, as opposed to making things happen. Of course if the former happens they can bitch, moan and whine (BMW). If they took action, well, they couldn't make excuses anymore...nor complain.
I could go on and on about this topic. I guess lately I've just been inundated with too much of these excuses and it has gotten in my craw.
I will leave you with one of the best moments in political history when the issue of choice and excuse came up. It was the John Turner, Brian Mulroney debate in 1984. I was never a big fan of Mulroney, but he shone in this moment in the debate (and inevitably went on the win the election and obliterate the Liberals). John Turner had made some patronage appointments which he excused by saying that he had no "option" because they were already somewhat in play by the former prime minister when he took over the PM role. Mulroney's response?
"You had an option, sir. You could have said, 'I am not going to do it. This is wrong for Canada, and I am not going to ask Canadians to pay the price.' You had an option, sir — to say 'no' — and you chose to say 'yes' to the old attitudes and the old stories of the Liberal Party. That sir, if I may say respectfully, that is not good enough for Canadians."
Ask yourself, how many choices do you make each day, and how many of them do you try to then whitewash as an excuse masquerading as a reason
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