THE BEGINNINGS ARE IN THE ENDINGS

I was listening to my music on my iPhone in the car the other day. I have a broad and eclectic expanse of music and if you want to figure out what I like, it would be hard to pin it down. One of the songs that shuffled up and played was a song that I had loaded long ago   and forgotten about (and as you can see from the picture on the side it is old enough to have existed on a 45--if you remember what those were!)  It is Roger Whittaker's The First Hello,The Last Goodbye. The first verse goes like this:

They say when you get a lover

You begin to lose a friend 
That the end of the beginning is the beginning of the end 
They say the moment that you're born is when you start to die 
And the first time that we said hello began our last goodbye 

This got me to thinking about whether beginnings always come with the portend of endings. Realistically we are the only species on the planet that inevitably knows that this wonderful life, will end in death. An unknown for sure, and whether you are religious or spiritual or not, we all tend to hope that death is not just an ending, but perhaps another beginning. And I will tell you, the older you get the more this "hope" resonates!

The reality is though that endings do herald new beginnings, but only if you reinvent yourself, as opposed to lamenting that which has ended.  There is a quote in Mitch Albom's book "The Five People You Meet in Heaven":

All endings are also beginnings. 

We just don't know it at the time

And if you embrace this concept then the new path will show itself to you. If you chose to always want things to go back to the way they were, well, then you will be forever stuck in the past. 

Sometimes the endings are expected, sometimes not. But either way, whether the end is  a business situation -- a job, a contract, a client, a change of location, a change of boss,  -- or  whether the end is in a personal situation -- the dissolution of a marriage or relationship, becoming an empty nester, down-sizing your home -- if you look forward, and not back, then the new beginnings will be waiting. And later when you look back, you wonder why you were upset and sad, because of the joy you've now found in your new situation.

Which brings me to the quote below from Anatole France:

We wonder sometimes why we are "grieving" or sad about a change we wanted and longed for. But each step is a step away from the "known" and somewhat into the unknown. Even if you are the one who initiated the change -- accepting a new job/position, moving to a new home, ending a relationship, getting married -- there is always excitement mixed with anxiety and a sprinkle of melancholy. But accept the fact that this is normal and don't start doubting yourself as to whether you've made the right move or not. Because you, inevitably, are the one who will make the new situation work, or not -- it is all about attitude.

So today, as you may be stepping into a new and undefined horizon, embrace the present and its new beginning, accept that to grieve the ending is normal, and go roaring into the future with enthusiasm and joy. 

Expect to be amazed by the new vistas that will open up for you!

THE UPSIDE OF DOWNSIDES

Have you every had a pineapple upside down cake? I am sure that if you have, you would agree with me that it is quite yummy! But do you really think that this cake was intentionally made to be turned around? It was probably someone's mistake, where the topside of the cake turned out less than desirable and then just turned it around and made it work. 

As the old saying goes "stuff happens" (well the old saying uses a different word, but I'll just not go there today :) and some people panic and just see the negatives in everything. And then they try to drag everyone and everything down into that rabbit hole with them.

Because of my generally optimistic nature people assume that I've just never had anything which would be defined as "bad" happen to me. That I can only be smiling because my life has been filled with puppy dogs and rainbows. Those who know me well, know that this is hardly the case, but you know, I can generally find the proverbial silver lining or at least the humour or irony in pretty much every situation.

Do I ever have a pity party? Oh, every once in a while, I might allow myself 5 minutes with a "woe is me" approach, but it truly does just last for 5 minutes (or less) and then I get on with it. I can't change what's happened, I can only a) learn from it and b) consider the opportunities that have now presented themselves.

As an example, I have counselled many people who have lost their job, divorced, etc. When they are in the throes of the grieving process, it is difficult for them to hear me say "This is the best thing that's ever happened to you! You are being given an opportunity to go on to new vistas." Some look at me, wondering what illicit substances I might be imbibing, but experience has told me that this type of unexpected event is the proverbial "blessing in disguise."

But they can only be that if you allow them to be. If you become negative and "grumpy" and look up into the heavens and say "why me" and can't rise yourself above the fray, you will get stuck there. And the more you are like this, the less positive things will come your way and you have created a self-fulfilling prophecy. Because regardless of scientific evidence, opposites truly don't attract -- negative begets negative and positive begets positive.

So remember the upside down cake. Even when your life has been turned topsy turvy, you have a new perspective from where you can consider your options. And most likely they will be "yummy!"